vendilionjames:

If you ever think a video game you’re playing is facetious, instead consider EarthBound:

• About three quarters through the game, the player finds a weapon called the Casey Bat. It is the strongest weapon in the game by a large margin, so naturally the player will equip it to Ness instantly. What isn’t indicated, though, is that it has a 75% miss rate. Players are often bewildered by the fact that at a certain point in the game, Ness suddenly becomes incapable of hitting anything.
• The player is at one point given the option to buy an egg. The egg does nothing. But it will randomly hatch into a chick without notifying the player. While a chick is in the player’s inventory, a beeping sound will play constantly. There is no indication of why this is happening.
• A boss called the Clumsy Robot has a move where it eats a bolonge sandwich. The text prompt will say that it recovers an enormous, demoralising amount of HP from doing this. It actually does nothing. The text prompt is lying.
• At one point the player is given the option to buy a machine from an inventor. They are told they need the machine to progress in the game. It is incredibly expensive. The machine isn’t needed for anything at all, and it breaks when you use it.
• To get into one of the villains’ lair, you have to know the secret password. The secret password is five minutes of silence. You have to stand in front of the door into the lair for five minutes without doing anything, then you will be allowed in.

Fuck your noise. EarthBound went hard.

smallerbong:

itchycoil:

smallerbong:

I just think he’s cute and want him on my blog.

I want to exploit him

that’s fine he’s here to help, from what I can tell

dailyghibli:

Sophie Hatter + Kisses

memeufacturing:

nurse: doctor!!! This man needs an IV right away!!!!
roman empire doctor: four??? Four of what????? He needs four of what??????????

aquaaesthetic:

aries: sushi, fairy lights, roadtrips,
nike shoes, long hair, sunrises, photography

taurus: thunder storms, poetry, secrets, watching sunsets from rooftops, goodnight texts

gemini: feminism, brown eyes, not being able to fall asleep, old music, driving at night, cardigans

cancer: thigh high socks, polaroid cameras, laptops, fireworks, pale skin, the smell of rain, cotton candy

leo: perfect eyebrows, clean white sheets, unmade beds, leaving windows open all night, iced coffee

virgo: foggy mornings, broken cd’s, late night phone calls, 11:11 wishes, laughing with friends, plants

libra: winged eyeliner, lip piercings, hair dye, concerts, dark lipstick, guitars, worn converse, city lights

scorpio: lying in the middle of an empty street, the smell of coffee, walking at night, seeing your breath in the cold air

sagittarius: messy hair, getting lost in someone’s eyes, wind blowing through your hair, standing in an open sunroof in a car

capricorn: taking off in airplanes, skateboards, vinyl records, platinum braids, arm veins, white t-shirts, silver hair

aquarius: all black clothing, loud music, long drives, overthinking, hidden feelings, band tees, ghost stories, staying up all night

pisces: the moon, art, meteor showers, overplayed music, succulent plants, the ocean, summer nights, strange dreams

anextrapart:

laralaralara:

#DO YOU LIKE ME DO YOU LIKE ME DO YOU LIKE ME - han solo

#HAN SOLO YOU GIANT SMITTEN FLOPPY-HAIRED NERD BABY #everyone sit the fuck down for a sec i need to exorcise some feelings #look at his hopeful little face in the first gif #this idiot has probably spent months trying to win her over #badass space pirate all twisted in knots over this tiny force of a princess #she argues with him and yells at him she doesn’t pay attention when he does awesome things ‘LEIA LOOK DON’T YOU THINK I’M COOL?’ #but of course he doesn’t tell her that he likes her you never tell girls that you like them #but he just LIKES HER SO MUCH and he wants her to like him too because she’s LEIA and leia’s the BEST #he’s like a tiny child running away from home #BYE I’M LEAVING FOREVER NOW BYE YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN BYE #(unless maybe you want me to stay i mean gosh i can stay if you really want me to) #the big dummy actually thinks she’s going to beg him to stay #and when she doesn’t he’s so embarrassed and hurt and he’s SO SAD it’s awful it’s like looking at a wounded labrador #and then he gets all SHOUTY and LEAVES because of course he does #why talk about our feelings no i’ll show you NOW I REALLY WILL LEAVE YOU’LL BE SORRY #OUR KIDS WOULD HAVE BEEN SMART *AND* BEAUTIFUL #in conclusion: #han solo: probably the most adorable overgrown five-year-old in the galaxy

frozenyognaurt:

….. literally wtf XD 

firaja:

“I could frame any one of you in a dark corner, and capture you in a moment of desperation.”